


Inverted Commas

by baeconandeggs, septinembers



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Historical, M/M, Mentions of Underaged Prostitution, Romance, Vague description or hints of sexual acts, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 14:04:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14916738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeconandeggs/pseuds/baeconandeggs, https://archiveofourown.org/users/septinembers/pseuds/septinembers
Summary: This is a story that transpires across time, bending the impossible to possible and turning what-ifs to reality or actual encounters to simply happenstance.





	Inverted Commas

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt #:** BAE577  
>  **Disclaimer: baeconandeggs/the mods is/are not the author/s of this story. Authors will be credited and tagged after reveals.** The celebrities' names/images are merely borrowed and do not represent who the celebrities are in real life. No offense is intended towards them, their families or friends. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this fictional work. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> **Author's Note:** This has been a challenge to write as I was only given limited time what with claiming just a few hours before the claiming closed and writing only between office breaks. I am extremely grateful to the mods who have been so supportive and understanding of my situation from the start. The mods are one of the biggest reasons why I always wish to write for BAE no matter how bad my fics always end up as and I hope I did the prompt justice for the prompter and for everyone to enjoy.

 

The minute Baekhyun steps down the train, he lets out a sigh. Shades of green immediately greet him upon stepping down the platform, damp moss an eyesore for most but a relief for the boy who was now pulling his bags behind him with a grunt. It was definitely a refreshing change of scenery, a far cry from the grey and gloomy colours of a noisy city, and Baekhyun was determined to take in all of what the province had to offer in the relatively short time he was there. But then, his eyes catch sight of a cavalry of men by the station entrance, dressed in that one familiar shade of green,—the kind of green he loathed—their hands almost lazily resting on the weapons hanging over their shoulders but their eyes are of a different energy, darting here and there as if ready to pounce at the slightest shuffle or movement. And so they did when a cry ripped through the common buzz of the small town as Baekhyun watches a man being dragged out of the train station by them, not the slightest pity for the man now clawing at their shoulders for them to stop. Suddenly, Baekhyun is reminded of the reason why he was there in the first place. He was not there for leisure, not when the whole country hasn’t had the opportunity to in so long.

He was there because he was forced to.

The thought did not sit well with him, of course. The moment he received the letter, Baekhyun had packed his bags, boarded the next train out, and watched as his life in the city disappear in the fog, along with the dreams and aspirations he desperately clung to with one last hope.

He should be happy, is what he thinks. He’s finally left that dreadful city where the sun rarely shines anymore and splattered red cover the streets whenever the last bit of that brightness fell for each day. Riots, protests, vigilante killings and the occasional military tank had killed what was once a prosperous city of good people. Now, most of them are dead, dumped wherever a body could be disposed of.

But he was there to uphold a vow he had foolishly been unaware of until now. Yet, it was probably the unexplainable urge to concede, a sense of nationalism, you may say, that he has been imbibed with at a very young age.

Baekhyun finally gets the help he needs with his bags when another man limps towards him to sling one of them over his shoulders. Before Baekhyun could protest, however, the man limps back to where he previously stood waiting, a beat-up jeepney coming into Baekhyun’s view. With a speed that couldn’t even match that of a speeding turtle, Baekhyun hauls the remaining of his bags into the back of the jeep before slumping down the passenger seat. Soon enough, they leave the station and Baekhyun briefly wonders where the soldiers have taken the man, scenarios running through his mind like a movie, but he is pulled out of his thoughts the moment his companion talks.

“Welcome back.” The man says. Baekhyun merely chooses to reply with a hum, choosing instead to look out into the scenery, the very same green and wet moss he’s come accustomed to seeing every time he came home to Junmyeon’s scenic humble villa in the mountains and Baekhyun swears he could recall every fallen log and misty dew if he were challenged to describe them. 

“How are things in the city?” Baekhyun hums again, this time accompanied by a shrug of his shoulders.

“I take it as good, I guess.” The man says but there is a tone of uncertainty in his voice and Baekhyun nods, for he honestly couldn’t care less.

“I heard Kyungsoo’s coming, too.” Junmyeon supplies. “His train should be arriving at noon. I’m going back to the station to pick him up. You’re welcome to come with me.” The road begins to curve upward as the car makes its way up the mountain, engine wheezing in great effort. Baekhyun makes a noise at the back of his throat and Junmyeon sighs, not sure what to make of it and instead, keeps his eyes on the road.

“I know it’s been tough on you, Baekhyun.” He says moments after. “It’s been tough on all of us. The civil war is in danger of escalating into a nuclear war, national supplies are dwindling, and the people are becoming more and more restless. That shouldn’t make you want to give up, though. You have to be strong, at least one of us has to be strong. Isn’t that what you say your grandmother always told you?”

“Why do I still have to?” Baekhyun argues, finally turning to look at Junmyeon in the eye. “She always took it to heart, now look where that got her. She’s dead along with a thousand others. I don’t think that applies anymore, hyung.”

“You’ll have to.” Junmyeon presses. “Once you’re in the field, there will be no one else to help you but yourself. At one point, you’ll come to realise your grandmother was right all along.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes and turns away.

“Easy for you to say.” Baekhyun mutters under his breath. “You’re not the one going into war. You’re not the one getting dragged into one just because you have two functioning legs.” Suddenly, his body lurches forward as the jeep screeches into an abrupt stop in the middle of its ascent up the mountain. Gravity stings at Baekhyun’s neck as it pulls his body back against the seat, his eyes wide in sudden panic.

“Hyung! What do you think you’re doing?!” Baekhyun shrieks. “Keep driving! What if the brakes collapse and we go rolling down this mountain?!”

“You think you have it so bad, huh?” Junmyeon scoffs, hands gripping tight on the steering wheel and rendering Baekhyun silent. “You think nothing’s worse than being forced to man up and jump into war, that nothing’s worse than leaving the comfortable life you so had. Well, let me tell you. Nothing could have prepared me for the moment I realised I was never going to reach that top of the mountain I always wanted to climb. That nothing could ever prepare me for the time I would be forced to abandon my dream of running the longest marathon I could join in, that nothing could be worse than having to spend your teenage years in the battlefield only for you to waste the rest of your life away in bed, when all you’ve got is one leg to keep you walking forward, all because I didn’t look where I was going.

“But you know what? I stayed strong.” Junmyeon croaks, voice trying to keep steady. “I decided that despite the horrors I’ve faced, life was still beautiful and I meant to live through it the same comfortable way I have once lived. I’m saying you have a choice, Baekhyun. You either live through the consequences the way you’re looking at it now or make the best of it.”

The jeep is noisy as the engine roars when it continues its ascent, but the silence shared between the two men is deafening in Baekhyun’s ears and the thumping of his heart violent against his chest.

 

Chanyeol cautiously steps down his horse as he eyes the house in wary. The sun pierced through his skin, making the uncomfortable fabric of his wear more uncomfortable than it already is stick to his skin. A man welcomes him by the gate, face void of any emotion whatsoever but he bows before him and gestures for Chanyeol to come inside.

Chanyeol only gives him a nod, eyes never leaving the man’s face because even though the stranger acted in some way professional around him, Chanyeol has learned never to put his guard down. This man was an outsider, parading as one of Chanyeol’s own people when the Japanese had suddenly come spilling into Korean territory, transforming everything into their own as if they were all merely puppets to play with, easily crumbling into submission for a government they have never agreed to.

Chanyeol wished he could be anywhere but here. He would much rather fight the enemy than submit like a dog being pulled at its collar. He wished he were in the frontlines, fighting alongside those who share the same dream of liberating his home from foreign invaders. He would welcome death even if it manifested right in his face, for if he were to die in the battlefield, then it would be a more honourable death than having to live his life as a pawn on a chessboard, all to appease the beast.

Then comes bounding towards him is another man, gray robes—telltale of the man’s lowly status as a servant—billowing behind him as he rushes to help Chanyeol with his bags off his horse. He doesn’t spare him a glance, most probably because Chanyeol is a head taller than him, but he greets him with a greeting so soft it sounded like a whisper in the wind. “Welcome, sir.”

“Thank you.” Chanyeol tells him. “Would you mind bringing my horse to the stables when you’re done?” The boy nods, keeping his head down and scampers ahead with Chanyeol’s bags on his shoulders. With a whimper, the boy almost loses grip of one of the bags but Chanyeol rushes to his aid, taking one bag and slinging it over his shoulder.

“Sir! Please let me do that for you.” The boy exclaims. And that is when the boy looks up to meet his eyes. He has a sharp face, Chanyeol notes. His cheekbones are prominent, but not enough to indicate the boy was in any way underweight, a natural curl at both ends of his lips (that Chanyeol is reminded of a kitten) and young, brown vulnerable eyes that send him a pleading. Suddenly, Chanyeol is reminded of late nights sneaking into alleys and run down houses, always greeted by another human in bed and leaving satisfied at the break of dawn. Chanyeol shakes his head in attempt to erase the images out of his mind and directs a kind smile at the boy instead.

“Let me help.” Chanyeol tells him. “Besides, there are fragile things in them and I would much rather have them in one piece.” The boy widens his eyes before nodding and looking back down to the ground again.

“I’m sorry... sir.”

“Don’t be.” Chanyeol assures him. “It is partially my fault anyways. I should’ve warned you about it first.”

“Let me lead you to your room then, sir.” The boy says helpfully and Chanyeol grins.

“That would be wonderful. The journey has been very difficult for me. I’d like to get settled in as soon as possible.”

With a squeak, the servant boy beckons him towards the house, renewed energy in him in the way he walks despite the heavy baggage on his shoulders. Chanyeol chuckles.

 

A few hours later, Baekhyun finds himself yet again at the train station waiting for the noon train to arrive. He leans against Junmyeon’s beat up jeepney, watching the soldiers with their every move. They lounge just outside of the station—stances relaxed as Baekhyun first saw them—cackling in glee when one of the men show off his gun, pointing it at anything that he found interest in, one of which included an innocent little girl.

Baekhyun scoffs, disgusted at the boastful display of machismo. Would these soldiers have acted the same when the time came? Would they still have that courage in them at the face of battle, or would they cower at its presence like little men? Baekhyun would like to know. He pushes himself off the jeep and decides to stroll around the station, eager to get away from the suffocating sight of soldiers. He finds himself by the platforms, leaning his head sideways to the rails but there is no sight of an incoming train. He steps down from where the platforms end and stones crunch beneath his feet. He walks alongside the rails and away from the station, taking in the endless green of nature, untouched and preserved of its beauty.

Filled with sudden curiosity, Baekhyun enters through the tall grass, delighted at the thought of brief escape and finds himself deeper and farther than he expected but then, he sees an oak tree in the middle of what appears to be a clearing where the tall grass haven’t touched. Baekhyun marvels at the majestic sight of roots crawling up into the sky and leaves serving as a curtain from the world. Baekhyun decides to sit at the foot of it, taking out a notebook and a pen from his pocket and writing his first entry.

Moments later, Baekhyun is alerted by the whistle of a train in the distance, ground softly vibrating underneath his hands. _Kyungsoo,_ he thinks. Baekhyun prepares to return back to the train station but not before leaving his pen and notebook behind, storing them in the tree’s hollow, a promise of his return. With that, he steps into the tall grass and disappears.

 

“Jongdae, I will be taking my leave for town.” Chanyeol says, pulling at his robes and putting on his hat. “Would you please dusty up my quarters while I’m gone? I won’t take long, that’s for sure, so I expect everything cleaned up and a cup of tea on my table right away.”

Jongdae, the servant boy, nods but also waves slightly as he sees the man off. Chanyeol shakes his head in amusement. The boy was peculiar, Chanyeol concludes. He was unpredictable, closed off at first but suddenly exuberant the next second as if he were a little steamboat ready to burst at any time. 

He trots into town up on his horse, determined to get his chores completed but Chanyeol should have known better than to be doing them on a Sunday morning. The market was brimming with people, each colourful stall occupied by a thick crowd, and Chanyeol felt uncomfortable at the sight of it so he sighs, frustrated, before heading off towards the direction of the train station where the noise of a hundred people fade in the background. He spots a decent tree to rest against for the sun was yet again searing into his skin and his horse neighed for a drink of water.

He ties his horse to the tree before slumping down against it, wiping sweat off his face. The sun glares with every steel and metal Chanyeol sees, shortly blinding him, but the breeze and the shade of the tree are welcoming. He sighs in content, deciding to wait for the common people to finish their own chores rather than ride home, the breeze too tempting for Chanyeol to leave all too early. He is nearly lulled into slumber when something falls and hits him on the head, his hands immediately reaching underneath his robes for the blade he has strapped around his hip though he finds no one in near vicinity of him to be responsible for the action. Instead, he finds a notebook on his lap, of brown leather, cover slightly new and a strange looking pen clipped on the spine.

He looks up in confusion only to see a hollow within the tree where the notebook must have fallen from due to the heavy breeze. He examines the notebook carefully and flips through the pages to see they are all blank except for one short entry on the very first page.

Having read it, Chanyeol’s eyebrows furrow.

_June 3_

_Signs of war have trickled all over the place, but I feel peace after years of conflict with my country and most importantly, with myself. I know this illusion is fleeting but believe me when I say... I have never felt so free in my life._

He found it confusing why someone would leave such sensitive, private content out here where anyone could simply take it, how such intimate thoughts are stored in a notebook meant for personal keeping but can be easily exposed with just one flip of the cover. _This person is either too bold or too stupid,_ Chanyeol deduces. _It appears I have found myself surrounded by exceptionally strange people. _He continues to muse, absently stroking the notebook, deciding between two options now in his mind. And just when he finally chooses one, a cart of freshly picked apples pass by. In his haste and upon remembering the sole reason he was there for, he stuffs the notebook back and rides in chase of the apple cart back to the market.__

__

__Baekhyun finds himself back at the train station two weeks later all on his own. Kyungsoo was adamant to come with him, in case the boy gets into any trouble, but Baekhyun reassures him with a ruffle of his hair which he knows Kyungsoo doesn’t like and leaves the house before the other boy could protest any further._ _

__He initially gets lost in the tall grass—finding himself back along the tracks and nearly colliding with a zooming train, that is—before reaching his tree. He reaches for his notebook, an entry for the day at the back of his mind when he takes notice of a new entry just below his first one, in a handwriting Baekhyun is positively sure isn’t his._ _

__Guarded and slightly panicked, Baekhyun looks around the area, expecting anyone to jump out of the tall grass (in a sickening prank or some other to some degree) but then deems the clearing safe. The handwriting is in cursive Korean and although extremely alarming for its existence, Baekhyun cannot help but be awed at it._ _

___June 3_ _ _

___I hope that, someday, I would find my own bit of freedom, the way you did._ _ _

___Also, isn’t it kind of wrong to leave your personal writings out here in the open? People could use it against you, you know. Then you wouldn’t have anything to write about anymore._ _ _

__Baekhyun gasps at the audacity of this stranger who was bold enough to chastise Baekhyun for his actions as if he were a young boy. He eventually chuckles at the general absurdity of it. He never expected anyone to find his tree, never even thought someone would write on his notebook to prove his presence. Baekhyun hums to himself, pen tapping against his chin, as he thinks up of what to say._ _

__When the sky dims to gray, signalling that of the end of another day, Baekhyun pushes his notebook back into the tree hollow and leaves the clearing._ _

__

_June 17_

_I’m sure that someday will come to you._

_Also, isn’t it wrong for a stranger to write on someone else’s notebook, too? I won’t lie when I say I would have stabbed you with my pen if I ever caught you snooping around._

__

__A knock distracts Chanyeol from his reading by the window, cup of tea in one hand. “Come in,” He says, eyes never leaving the page he’s been reading. The door creaks open and Jongdae enters, a nervous expression on his face._ _

__“What is it, Jongdae?” Chanyeol says, his eyes still fixated on his book._ _

__“You have g-g-guests, sir.” Jongdae replies. At this, Chanyeol sets his book down and looks at the servant boy questioningly._ _

__“Guests?” Chanyeol mumbles, mostly to himself. “I wasn’t expecting any guests today...” He tells himself and dismisses Jongdae away with a promise he’ll be down in a few minutes. Chanyeol puts on a light robe and makes his way downstairs to the communal living area where Jongdae is seen hustling about around two men, plates of rice cake and cups of tea on both hands. Curious, he squints at the men and grits his teeth as their familiar faces come into his view._ _

__“That will be all, Jongdae. Thank you.” Chanyeol’s voice nearly echoes throughout the room, ringing authoritative and dominant that Jongdae jumps in shock. The men stand in greeting when Chanyeol enters the room and as Jongdae finally obeys and quickly retires to the kitchen, Chanyeol first takes his seat before the two men, lips pursed in a thin line._ _

__“What do you want?” Chanyeol demands and the men look down on him with a glint in their eyes._ _

__“Engineer Park. We’ve finally found you.”_ _

__

__“Are you headed out again, sir?” Jongdae asks as he watches the other man put on his hat by the doorway. With a smile, Chanyeol nods._ _

__“Yes, Jongdae. I figured some fresh air would do me good.” After his meeting with the two men, Chanyeol has once again been plagued by sleepless nights, regret and guilt bubbling at the surface the more he thought about what transpired that day._ _

__“Ah.” Jongdae says, “Yes, sir. I think that’s a very good idea.”_ _

__“One of my few good ideas, unfortunately.” Chanyeol jokes and Jongdae’s mouth curls up on one side as if he finds it amusing and maybe he did, with the way Jongdae bit on his bottom lip to fight the smile from lighting up his face._ _

__“Say, Jongdae...” Chanyeol trails off, a thoughtful look furrowing his eyebrows. “Has it been a month since I moved in?”_ _

__Jongdae blinks at him. “I think so, sir but... yes. Yes, a month has passed.”_ _

__“Hmm...” Chanyeol fumbles through his pockets as if in search of something and Jongdae merely looks on in curiosity. Soon enough, Chanyeol pulls an object out with an “Aha!” It was small, circular in shape and old bronze in colour. Chanyeol grins as he gives it to Jongdae who looks at it with unmasked surprise._ _

__“I planned to give it to you earlier but it must have slipped my mind. I hope you can forgive me for that.”_ _

__Jongdae looks at the engineer with wide eyes, mouth slightly agape as he struggles on words to say. “You’re giving this to me?”_ _

__“Yes. I think you deserved it, don’t you think so?”_ _

__“Thank you.” Jongdae says, voice slightly breathy as if he were still in shock. “Thank you! Oh, thank you!” Then, he exclaims in a voice shrill enough to wake the rest of the boarders at an early hour but Chanyeol only guffaws when Jongdae clamps his mouth shut in embarrassment._ _

__“You’re welcome.” He replies, accompanied with a pat on Jongdae’s back. “What do you say you join me and we can put that money to good use, hmm? Maybe a new pair of shoes? Or how about a coat?”_ _

__Jongdae fervently nods and with the approval of his landlord, Jongdae trails after the tall engineer, a skip in his steps._ _

__

__“Go loose,” Chanyeol says and with an amused smirk, watches Jongdae run towards the stalls the market had to offer. Complacent that he has Jongdae distracted long enough, Chanyeol makes his way to the tree, a tinge of hope in him that maybe he would get a response this time._ _

__He chuckles though when he sees that he does upon arriving at the clearing, taking the pen in his hands to scribble yet another new note._ _

_June 25_

_Thank you but I fear that someday won’t be coming any time soon. I may or may not have taken a choice and whether the world lives to see through it or not, I still don’t think I’d be able to forgive myself._

__With a heavy sigh, Chanyeol closes the notebook, tucking the pen back on its spine and pressing in between the notebook’s pages a Korean rose, one that he picked up on his way to the clearing. He wistfully gazes at it, its faint smell filling Chanyeol’s rose with serenity and he lets himself succumb to it._ _

__

__Baekhyun groans when he stumbles on his feet for the nth time that day, people unbothered at the way they bumped into the boy, too distracted with getting their purchases done. Baekhyun also nearly loses Kyungsoo in the crowd; Kyungsoo was an entirely different person when unleashed in the marketplace, wide eyes wide as they take in the numerous sights and smells of the daily market. But Baekhyun found it stinging his nose, the different smells mixing into one he could not really describe but it made his eyes water so he abandoned his pursuit for his small companion and decides to step out of the overcrowded market instead. Junmyeon had forced them out of the house that day, thinking it was better for the two to see town than hole themselves up in their rooms. Baekhyun argued there was nothing else that would satisfy him but Junmyeon only stared at him with a piercing look, a finger tapping threateningly against his walking cane. Kyungsoo then drags the both of them out before Junmyeon could do anything further._ _

__He lets out a sigh of relief when the fresh wind hit his face and makes his way towards the clearing. Unbeknownst to him, he catches the attention of a young, tall soldier who curiously watches him enter the train station and disappear into the tall grass. Alarmed, the soldier rushes after him only to find the other under the shade of a tree, a notebook on his lap and a smile on his face._ _

__Watching from the tall grass, the young soldier puts his hand back to his side where it once held on to his gun, satisfied that the boy was not up to something that could warrant the pull of a trigger but he isn’t entirely sure of that._ _

__“H-h-hey!” He shouts at him, surprising the boy with a gasp. The boy’s chest heaves in fright when his eyes find those of the soldiers, backing his body against the tree with his hands gripping tightly at the rough bark the soldier was sure it would cause the boy angry red scratches._ _

__Regardless, the soldier slowly approaches him and with every step he took the boy’s expressions changed into nervousness, fright and finally, desperation, as the young soldier positions himself in front of him._ _

__“You’re not supposed to be here.” He says, surprised at how relatively stable his voice sounded. The boy only quivers before him. “This is a military zone. It’s not safe for you out here.”_ _

__At this, the boy looks at him questioningly, the violent shaking of his body minimizing into shaky breaths. “What do you mean?”_ _

__“I mean no one is allowed to be here.” The soldier responds calmly. He didn’t want to scare the other any further. He’d like to believe he wasn’t the kind of soldier people feared of. After all, he refused to let go of that human morality the camp tried so hard to rid him off and besides, the boy in front of him was innocent._ _

__“It’s just a clearing.” The other argues._ _

__“It’s simply r-r-restricted premises, boy. You should l-l-e-eave.”_ _

__“’Boy?’” Baekhyun echoes, an eyebrow raised. “Do I look like a kid to you?”_ _

__The soldier stutters, taken aback and not exactly sure what to tell him. Sure, he looked like a kid with his pale unblemished face and young features. But he wasn’t exactly a boy. Maybe more of a young man in his 18 years, if the way the boy cocked his head to the side is any indication. “So?” The boy asks. “Do I look like a boy to you?”_ _

__“N-n-no?”_ _

__Then suddenly, the boy breaks out in laughter. The soldier watches dumbfounded as the boy loses himself into uncontrollable laughter, a laughter so physical he began to slap his knees. The soldier grunts, slowly feeling irritated and more than that, uncomfortable at the situation he got himself into. He was rather expecting the whole ordeal to be over in five minutes or less but it appears the boy in front of him never had that much fear of soldiers._ _

__“I’m sorry...” Baekhyun wheezes in between his laughter. “It’s just that it all just sounds so funny when you stutter the way you do!”_ _

__“It’s a lisp.” The soldier glares, in no way amused. “I can’t help it. I was born with it.”_ _

__“Sure.” The boy grins up at him and the soldier clenches his jaw._ _

__“You should really leave.”_ _

__“But I just got here.” Baekhyun nearly whines out in protest._ _

__“I don’t care. You should know how to follow orders, boy. Especially orders from those far superior of you.”_ _

__“Oh?” Baekhyun hums, cocking an eyebrow in challenge. “Superior, huh? May I ask your name, soldier?”_ _

__“Why does that even matter?” The soldier grunts in question and Baekhyun shrugs, hands clasping against his chest as he relaxes his posture and leans against his tree._ _

__“Maybe so I can give you my name in return and you could stop calling me ‘boy’.”_ _

__“Fine. It’s Oh Sehun.”_ _

__And then the brightest smile the soldier has ever seen lights up the boy’s face, his eyes even crinkling into small crescents as if the mere mention of Sehun’s name delighted him. “Pleased to meet you, Oh Sehun. I’m Byun Baekhyun.”_ _

__“Same to you too, Baekhyun.” Sehun says, even pulling at his hat in greeting._ _

__“Now, I have a few questions for you Soldier Oh, if you don’t mind me asking.” Baekhyun cheerily says. Sehun scowls at the smaller boy, fully irritated now and maybe even a bit concerned of his well-being for the other soldiers must have already noticed his absence by now._ _

__“If I answer your questions, will you finally go away?” Sehun grumbles and Baekhyun enthusiastically nods._ _

__“Okay.”_ _

__“Fine. Just make it quick.” Baekhyun grins to which Sehun internally sighs at before sitting down on the grass, making Baekhyun follow afterwards._ _

__“So, how long have you been stationed here?”_ _

__“A few months.”_ _

__“And where did you train?”_ _

__“Seoul.”_ _

__“When were you commissioned?”_ _

__“A few months ago.”_ _

__“Was it at the Academy or the Candidate School?”_ _

__“Candidate School.”_ _

__“So doesn’t that make you a rookie?” Baekhyun asks and Sehun glares at the term he used. Baekhyun guffaws, gesturing to the patch on Sehun’s arm, an insignia there in silver color._ _

__“Second lieutenant, right?”_ _

__Sehun mutters under his breath and stiffly nods. He hated it when people belittled him for his rank. He was a lieutenant, yes. A hatchling that has barely even entered the military. As if that weren’t worse enough, Sehun’s superiors looked and treated him the way wolves would to their prey. Taunting. Sehun thought he would never get through school with the constant breathing of his superiors on his neck, but he was a determined little chick. He found purpose with this field of career. He wanted to change the stigma the general public usually had of the military. And he would start from the very bottom._ _

__“That’s cool.” Baekhyun eventually adds, startling him. He looks at him intensely, expecting the boy to retract his words and laugh that obnoxious laugh of his in spite. But Baekhyun only smiles a genuine smile and Sehun nearly cries when he asks, “R-r-really?”_ _

__Baekhyun nods. “I mean you’re probably younger than I am, right?” A nod. “And yet, you’re already a lieutenant. That’s really impressive.”_ _

__“You think so?”_ _

__“I believe so. Not a lot of kids your age can call themselves a lieutenant. You should be proud of yourself. I’m just starting myself.”_ _

__“You got... drafted?” Sehun asks._ _

__“Yeah. Which is why I’m here.” Baekhyun explains. “I’ll be doing my training here Junmyeon says will begin in a few weeks. I’m enjoying my freedom as much as I can.”_ _

__“Well, I hate to keep you from doing that but you should really go find somewhere else to do that.” Sehun tells him. Baekhyun sighs before leaning into Sehun’s personal space, making the latter lean back in surprise._ _

__“Tell you what though.” Baekhyun says. “I won’t tell your superiors what you’ve been up to if you let me around.”_ _

__Sehun scoffs and rolls his eyes, dismissing the offer. “What makes you think I’d agree?”_ _

__Baekhyun shrugs nonsensically and leans back against his tree’s bark. “You pretty much just sneaked out, leaving your station and you’re a second lieutenant nonetheless.” Baekhyun starts._ _

__“Your superiors won’t like that once they find out you’ve been dilly dallying when you should’ve been patrolling the grounds like you usually do. But here you are.”_ _

__“That’s only because you can’t be here.” Sehun hisses but Baekhyun only grins at him._ _

__“You still basically left your station without informing your peers, though.” Baekhyun reasons. “If you keep up with that habit of yours, how would you expect your peers to save you in battle? Besides, I wasn’t doing anything wrong.”_ _

__Sehun growls, earning him a delighted guffaw from the other. Sehun knew what the other was doing. He was pushing him to agree to his terms, using every excuse he could think of no matter what they may be. But Sehun would not deny Baekhyun had a point. He defied one of the ground rules his commander was specifically strict about and Sehun cursed internally, having realized that._ _

__With a groan, Sehun relents with a nod, avoiding the other’s triumphant grin. Sehun moves to stand and return to his post, like Baekhyun said but not before issuing a warning to the other. “Just don’t do anything stupid, okay? You’re free to lounge around, just don’t get me or any of the soldiers in trouble.”_ _

__Baekhyun nods amusedly and waves him away. “Gotcha.”_ _

__

__Chanyeol makes his way through the small town as careful as he can be. The town was relatively small, houses mostly filling up the streets. There is not much activity outside as the night has come and mothers desperately ushered in most of the remaining kids in from the streets, whispering to them how the soldiers were coming any time soon. Chanyeol watches as each house light switch off and as each window is closed, leaving him the only person out at this hour, the clacking of his shoes magnified in the wind._ _

__He rounds a corner where he enters one of the houses, only to be greeted by the two men he conversed with one fateful day. He ignores their presence and greeting, choosing to look around the room. The house’s exterior looked like a safety hazard, ready to collapse at any time, but its interior looked completely spotless and free of the finest of dust. Tables have been stacked with complicated-looking equipment, numbers on them constantly beeping, and by the wall is an abundant supply of coffee Chanyeol was sure he would need in the days to come._ _

__The two men decide to leave once Chanyeol slumps down on a seat across one of the tables, not forgetting to lock the door behind them, the satisfying click of the lock rendering Chanyeol back into reality as a teardrop threatens to fall._ _

_July 11_

_I always knew you were a bad person. Just kidding. So, what is it? Was it theft? Murder? How could something possibly be so bad that you’re willing to punish yourself for it?_

__If only he knew._ _

__

__Baekhyun was about to leave the house, eager to get back to his tree with a protest again on Kyungsoo’s lips when Junmyeon stops him with the tapping of his wooden cane on the polished floor. Baekhyun halts mid-step when Junmyeon says, “We’re meeting a few people, Baekhyun. It’s time you two start your training.”_ _

__Baekhyun and Kyungsoo share a look, dread filling up Baekhyun’s system because no matter how Baekhyun knew that day would eventually come, it still doesn’t feel any less painful to hear of it._ _

__

__“A vault?” Baekhyun gasps out._ _

__Earlier on, they reached the camp situated at the very top of the mountain where the wind was stronger and colder, the fog thicker, and dozens of green tents are erected throughout the camp grounds. The occasional battalion of soldiers comes marching past them, but they spare the three civilians no glance. Junmyeon nods when he pulls Baekhyun and Kyungsoo through the camp where the commander’s tent sits at the very edge of it._ _

__“No one really knows about it except for the military. Word shouldn’t get out less the public hears of it and they come storming for a slot inside one of them.”_ _

__“But isn’t that why they’re being built?” Kyungsoo asks. “To house the public should the war get any worse?”_ _

__“That’s the point, Soo.” Junmyeon replies. “But you should know the government has its limits. They can’t house every single Korean into their vaults. It’ll be dangerous.”_ _

__“So they’re going to just leave the others behind?” Baekhyun asks in disbelief._ _

__“Yes.”_ _

__“That’s insane!” Baekhyun shrieks, garnering a few curious stares from the soldiers. “They’re leaving them to die!”_ _

__“He’s right.” Kyungsoo says. “The others won’t stand a chance.”_ _

__“Which is why the government has come up with a selection process. They just can’t admit anyone into the vaults. For all we know, one of these people could be a criminal or carry a disease that could annihilate the entire vault population. They don’t draw a lottery. Each Korean citizen is given a chance by being eligible for a slot in one of the vaults during the selection process.”_ _

__“That still doesn’t change the fact that there will be others that won’t get in.” Baekhyun argues._ _

__“And that definitely doesn’t change the fact that in war, casualties will always happen.” Junmyeon informs him, rendering Baekhyun silent. Kyungsoo remains mute by the side but his wide eyes give away his shock. Junmyeon sighs before patting Baekhyun comfortingly on the back and shooting Kyungsoo a gentle smile._ _

__“I’m sorry, Baekhyun. I know how you feel and I wished I could do something about that, too.” Junmyeon tells him. “But who are we to do that? We’re not the government, just one of their little pawns in the game. Now, come on. Your commander’s waiting to speak with you.”_ _

__Baekhyun lets himself be pulled by Kyungsoo, his shoes dragging through the mud with it scratching at his ankles. But that was the very least of his worries._ _

__

_August 7_

_My dear friend, anything can be bad as long as they are done for the wrong reasons with the wrong intentions. But now that you’re in on my secret, you’ll tell the authorities on Park Chanyeol when you can, won’t you?_

__

__“So?” Sehun asks. He was stationed at his usual post down the train station but this time, he is accompanied by a new face, particularly that of Byun Baekhyun. He watches the older tug at his military uniform, discomfort shown on his face in the way that his eyebrows are furrowed with irritation. Sehun snickers when Baekhyun grunts and scratches at his nape, his face further distorting in an unattractive expression._ _

__“Stop laughing, idiot.” Baekhyun hisses at him._ _

__“Sorry. You just look so adorable in that uniform.” Sehun snickers again when Baekhyun raises a hand to swat at the other’s face but Sehun only dodges it. “You look smaller than you already are.”_ _

__“Shut up.” Baekhyun growls. “It’s not my fault they got all my measurements wrong.”_ _

__“That’s ‘cause they’re not used to tailoring uniforms for midgets like you.” Sehun jokes._ _

__“I swear to god I will use this gun on you and I damn know how to use it!”_ _

__“That would be a crime!” Sehun cries out. “And here I thought we were friends.”_ _

__“Yeah, well if you keep your mouth shut, that is.” Baekhyun grunts._ _

__Sehun chuckles and chooses to quietly watch the other with his current struggle. “How’s the training, by the way?”_ _

__Baekhyun lets out a long-suffering groan. “Don’t remind me. I feel like I’ve been hit by a train at the same time sacks of rice have been piled up on me. I have never been so glad to keep stand here in my whole life.”_ _

__“What about Kyungsoo?”_ _

__“Still back at camp. Apparently, the commanders learned about Kyungsoo’s incredibly amazing cooking and now they want him to stay.”_ _

__“I don’t know whether to call him lucky because cooking won’t definitely be the first thing that could help a soldier in the battlefield.”_ _

__“You’re right but he seems happy the last time I’ve been there and he’s safe, that’s what matters.”_ _

__“True. I wish I could get to know him though.” Baekhyun smiles._ _

__“I’ll introduce you to him once we see him. He’s not usually outside of his kitchen so it’ll be awhile until we do.”_ _

__Sehun grins when two girls pass their way, one with rich brown hair and the taller with silky black hair that flowed like a waterfall behind her back. They quickly walk past them, steps brief but brisk, enough for Sehun to become suspicious of them and leave his post in pursuit of the women._ _

__Baekhyun is taken by surprise and curses, seeing as Sehun hadn’t apparently dropped his habit of leaving his post. He is unsure of what to do—whether to leave his post or follow the younger—but chooses the latter, Sehun shouting at the two to stop before they could step on to the platforms. They stop as commanded and look back. Baekhyun raises his rifle against them but gasps when two pairs of eyes land on him._ _

__

_August 20_

_You can always count on a genius like Byun Baekhyun, Park Chanyeol._

_Just not with women. Rough waters. I’ve never had luck with them. It was either I was too cold or too overbearing. I honestly don’t where to place myself. The moment I got drafted into the military, though, it was one of the things on my mind. I told myself I wouldn’t need to deal with that stuff anymore. It’s not like I got all the time in the world. And even though it must be nice to have a girl you can call your own, a guy’s really got to learn how to survive in these trying times._

_And just when I closed that chapter in my life, I saw them again._

_Kim Taeyeon was a goddess. She was good in everything. Sports, studies, heck, she even has a golden heart. She was my first love, so innocent, always stuffing her nose in one of her books. But today, her eyes were wild in an untamed way. I asked her what she was doing here. Turns out she was secretly meeting with a small rebel group responsible for those riots back in Seoul. That goody two-shoes Taeyeon was gone. I guess war does really change people._

_So it was no surprise when I turned to the other girl, someone I never thought I’d ever see again. We had a rocky relationship, you see. There was once a time I thought I couldn’t live without her. But that only turned out to be one of my mistakes. Hyeran was the girlfriend any guy would want. She filled me in ways I never imagined Taeyeon would, even though she was just a fleeting desire. At some point, I felt sure I was content living the rest of my life with her. But she didn’t share the same sentiments. That no matter how I was the boyfriend she could ever dream of, I couldn’t give her the happiness she wanted. So, I stopped fighting and let her go. Now, she’s off with Taeyeon risking their lives in a series of protest that once didn’t matter to me._

_And I know I should be at least worried about their safety as I watched them board the train, but I felt nothing. One of those girls was the girl that could have been, the other the girl that should have been but they’re nothing but words on a page now. Easily erasable with the smallest drop of water on ink._

__

__Chanyeol limps back to the boarding house, his arm throbbing in pain. He grunts with every step, berating himself for failing yet again with one of his inventions, a failure that nearly caused him his life but he decides he would try again another day._ _

__The way back home was so dark, the fields on both his sides looked sinister and threatening. Anyone could’ve taken advantage of him by now, maybe rob him of his money or stab him—something anyone with that twisted desire would do, but he doesn’t really have a choice now but limp one step at a time._ _

__Fortunately, the lights on the lower level of the boarding house are on and if he squints a little harder, he would see his trustful servant, Jongdae, waiting by the door. It was in no time when Jongdae came running to his aid but before he could even reach the engineer, someone blocks Chanyeol’s way. They were a group of three men. It was too dark for Chanyeol to take a look at their faces but they were at least a head shorter than him, reeking of perfume that itched at his nose and another distinct smell that Chanyeol, unfortunately, recognizes._ _

__“If it isn’t Mr. Park!” One of them squeals in glee and they lapse into excited chatter. Chanyeol attempts to manoeuvre out of the way but one of the strangers place a hand on his throbbing arm, making him hiss in pain. They crowd him in a second, teasingly whispering in his ear, touching and groping him in caresses that tempted Chanyeol but made him uncomfortable nevertheless._ _

__“Where are you going, Mr. Park?” One of the men sing-songs._ _

__“Home.” Chanyeol grunts and nudges the hand on his arm off of him._ _

__“But, Mr. Park, the night is still young.” Another man pipes up but Chanyeol refuses to acknowledge it, slowly limping to where Jongdae stood in the distance. “Why don’t you come with us?”_ _

__“No, thank you.” Chanyeol croaks out. “I would much rather have my rest.”_ _

__“Oh!” The men exclaim and then giggle. “We could help you with that.”_ _

__“No, goodbye.” Chanyeol curtly tells them. “And I hope I’d never see you again.”_ _

__One of them harrumphs, making a show of stomping his feet on the ground like a little kid who is refused their lollipop. “You’re awfully cranky when you’re tired, Mr. Park but all right. You know where to find us whenever you need us.”_ _

__With that, they bid Chanyeol goodbye before making their merry way._ _

__At this point, Chanyeol has finally reached Jongdae who pulls him in support by his side._ _

__“Thank god for you, Jongdae. Now would you please be a complete angel by helping me back into my quarters?” Chanyeol pleads._ _

__“Yes, sir.” Jongdae replies in that meek tone he’s used the first time they met. Chanyeol has never heard Jongdae used that tone ever since then so hearing it now came as a surprise for him. He looked at the shorter, curious, before Jongdae hauls him more upright and practically drags him to the house that Chanyeol forgets the question on his lips and focuses on the pain on his arm instead._ _

__

_September 13_

_You must be quite the lady-killer, Baekhyun. It is true, though, that you should have felt the tiniest bit of concern for those women. But I do not blame you nor judge you for what you felt. Those women are adults now. They have every right to decide for themselves. And even if you were to stop them, I’m sure they would have pressed on. War changes people, like you said. And in war, there is no one else that you could save but yourself._

_Since we were on the topic, would you mind tucking a picture of you in between the pages? I want to see how you look like. That and I just want to confirm whether you truly are the lady-killer after all. If you do, I’ll slip in my own picture so that would make us even._

__

__“The vaults are nearly done.” Sehun informs him the very first minute he sees Baekhyun and takes his spot by his side. “I heard we’ll be re-stationed there as soon as it is.”_ _

__“Where’s the nearest vault located?” Baekhyun asks._ _

__“On the east side of the foot of the mountain.” Sehun replies. “It’s going to house a capacity of 200 people by the time they finish.”_ _

__“And just how many people are there on this mountain?” Baekhyun asks him, hands reaching up to scratch at his nape again._ _

__“800 to 1,000 max.” Sehun says._ _

__“Not even half of the population.” Baekhyun sighs, watching a little boy walk them by, arms heavy with bags of groceries while his aged grandmother walked closely behind._ _

__“Yeah.” Sehun agrees. “I once heard the commander pleading for another vault but the government must’ve refused, seeing as no other vault has been constructed yet.”_ _

__Baekhyun only hums, watching the sun rise from the distance. It’s only been a few weeks since he began training and patrolling the station grounds at the same time but he’s severely exhausted with the intense training he had to go through. The camp barracks weren’t exactly comfortable either, with at least two dozens of men squeezed into one tent each, the stench of sweat and male pheromones suffocating him. It doesn’t even help that the snoring at various volume and strength hindered Baekhyun from getting any proper sleep. He was much rather surprised to be up on his feet at this hour. It must have been the coffee or his desperate attempt at not getting shot in the middle of his shift that was keeping him from going._ _

__But the sleepy mountain town proved to be nothing else as people steadily make their way to the market just beside the train station, doing the mundane things they do every single day. Baekhyun should feel lucky. Not much activity happens in this town; the townspeople have cut themselves from the slightest opportunity of living the city life, fully content with what they had now._ _

__But not this time._ _

__A scream rips through the morning air all the way from the market. Baekhyun is alerted along with the rest of his fellow soldiers patrolling the station. Sehun rushes towards the direction of the market, firearm raised against his chest as he cautiously inched nearer his destination. Baekhyun is startled by a push on his back along with a command from his superiors before he aggressively nods and bounds after Sehun._ _

__Before they could take one step up the market steps, a man comes bounding out of the building, shoving past the two soldiers and taking the two off guard. Screams have filled the area by now, with many of the civilians running for cover._ _

__“After him!” Sehun shouts and Baekhyun follows, chasing after the running man who appeared to be going towards the train station. Bullets are fired but they narrowly miss the man before he disappears inside the building. Baekhyun hurries after him and watches as the man rounds up the platforms before jumping down them and into the tall grass. Baekhyun jumps after him, the shouts of the other soldiers now a distance away as Baekhyun and the man enter further and further into the grass field, not knowing which direction they were going._ _

__Soon enough though, Baekhyun gains speed and catches on to the running man, pulling him by his jacket, making him stumble on to the ground on his back. Before he could make another run for it though, a boot is shoved against his chest and a rifle aimed right on his forehead, the click of the trigger loud over the man’s beating heart._ _

__“Please...” The man wheezes out but Baekhyun keeps his stance, jaw clenched as the man begged at him. “Don’t hurt me.”_ _

__“I won’t if you tell me what you’ve done.” Baekhyun grits out._ _

__“I had no choice.” The man cries. “I only did what I had to do.”_ _

__“What was it?!” Baekhyun growls, shoving his boot deeper into the man’s chest, making him choke on saliva._ _

__“You won’t understand...” The man says, voice incredibly unsteady as unshed tears appear at the bottom of his eyes._ _

__“Maybe I will if you tell me.” Baekhyun says before digging his rifle into the man’s forehead, making the latter shriek in pain and viciously nod and agree in between choked sobs._ _

__“Alright! Alright! I’ll tell you.” The man finally relents. “But please put your gun away from my face.”_ _

__Baekhyun hesitates, knowing full well he would lose his leverage and control over the man if he did but he does what the man begs anyway and when he does, he is pushed onto his back, landing on the ground with a thud as the man crawls away in desperate haste. Baekhyun jumps on his back, arms wringing the man around the neck but he is head-butted making him moan in pain that he lets go of his hold of the man._ _

__He doesn’t give up, however, and crawls after the man, landing on his back again, and turning him around. He doesn’t see the gun the man pulls out from behind him nor does he see the man pull on the trigger because the next thing he knows, the man’s eyes roll at the back of his head before they close for good. Baekhyun doesn’t hear Sehun and the others screaming at him, nor does he feel them pull him off the man and off to a good distance where he blankly stares at the lifeless body before him, a pool of blood now painting the grass red under him. He doesn’t hear anything than the ringing in his ears but the sudden weight in his hands and when he looks down to see what it is, he sees his own rifle with a shaky finger placed directly onto the trigger. That’s when Baekhyun cries._ _

__

_September 18_

_Park Chanyeol, what could something be so bad that you’d be willing to punish yourself for it? I think I have found the answer. It’s the theft of one’s life. Murder. And it was so easy to do it on your own. All it takes is a bullet and the pull of a trigger. It was so easy anyone could get away with it. And it doesn’t take long before the effect takes in. I understand now why thieves, even the pettiest of thieves, found joy over aiming a gun at someone’s head._

_But I didn’t kill that guy on purpose. It wasn’t even my intention in the first place. It just... happened._

__

__Chanyeol finds himself walking home late at night again after one of his many nights at his hidden laboratory. The two men, he eventually learns are named Jongin and Minseok, have stayed guard for the rest of the day, standing by his side and watching him in silence as he attempted to finish what they had requested him of._ _

__There was no use in him making any excuse to delay the project’s completion. Minseok was unforgiving, never hesitating to punish Chanyeol should he even make one. But he usually left him alone when he felt satisfied of Chanyeol’s work, mutely leaving before him with Jongin in tow in the past few days they decided it was an interesting pastime to watch Chanyeol tinker with his tools._ _

__Chanyeol is not welcomed home by Jongdae this time when he reaches the house. He fumbles for the light himself before slumping down on the couch, releasing a deep exhale. He was overworked, the infuriating throbbing of his temple proof of that. Even his cold showers weren’t enough to ease the pain away but somehow, Jongdae’s tea always did._ _

__He was about to get up and call for the servant boy when he hears the creaking of the floorboard and sees Jongdae by the kitchen doorway._ _

__“Jongdae, thank god.” Chanyeol lets out another exhale. “Would you please make me some tea?” Jongdae mutely nods before doing what he’s told. Moments later, he reappears by Chanyeol’s side, a pot of tea and a plate of cookies in one hand. Mumbling his thanks, Chanyeol slumps further into his seat, taking occasional sips of his tea before closing his eyes for a quick nap._ _

__“Those men...” Jongdae trails off, Chanyeol opening one eye to look at him curiously. “Did you see them again?”_ _

__“Why do you want to know?” Chanyeol carefully asks, putting his tea down and sitting upright on his chair._ _

__“I was just curious, that’s all.” Jongdae replies but Chanyeol is not satisfied with the answer. He felt it too vague, too wrong, as if Jongdae meant more but forced it back down his throat. Yet, Chanyeol presses on._ _

__“Do you, perhaps, know those men?”_ _

__“I... see them around, I guess.” Jongdae says, fiddling with the hems of his robes. “But not usually around this area.”_ _

__“And why is that so?” Jongdae then looks at him in the eye, a blank expression on his face._ _

__“Male prostitutes don’t go around areas where no prey is.” And Chanyeol chokes, not on his tea, but for Jongdae’s response. He knew. Jongdae looked at him almost accusingly tinged with a glint of hurt in his eyes but Chanyeol did not understand why. Before he could even ask further, Jongdae leaves, his robes billowing like a ghost disappearing in thin air._ _

__

__“It’s not your fault, you know.” Sehun says. “You only did it out of self-defense.”_ _

__“There are a lot of ways to defend yourself than to put a bullet into someone else’s head.”_ _

__“He was a criminal, Baekhyun.” Sehun argues. “He put the public in danger by planting a bomb in the market. Even if you didn’t shoot him, he would have been tried and hanged in the end.”_ _

__“I just wish it couldn’t have been me to do it.” Baekhyun murmurs. “I wish I never ran after him.”_ _

__“And risk everyone’s lives with a criminal at large?” Sehun shoots back. “Baekhyun, in the military, we make decisions no matter how right or wrong they are. And as soldiers, all we can try to do is live with it and hope that someday, we’ll forgive ourselves for it.”_ _

__Baekhyun wanted to say something back but he didn’t know what to say. Everything confused him, even the morality Sehun was always so confident about telling him. But here he was, forcing Baekhyun to believe killing a person was right because he was the epitome of the unmorally right. But Baekhyun would like to believe otherwise. That in all sense, he was a liberal and that he believed everyone had a chance to speak up for themselves before any system or governing body passed on their sentence. He won’t deny it made Baekhyun’s head hurt, though. Maybe he shouldn’t think too much of it. Society has fallen and anything was possible in anarchy._ _

__But Baekhyun still couldn’t get any sleep that night, even though weeks have passed since that incident. And maybe part of that reason why is because of the picture of Park Chanyeol in his hands, a picture so old it was brittle to the touch and overall brown in colour. But it could not hamper the shine in Chanyeol’s wide expressive eyes or the gleam of his teeth nor could it erase the handsomeness of the man in the picture._ _

__And he knew he should’ve felt disgusted, ashamed for letting his hands wander lower down his body than he intended, when he desperately attempts to cover his muffling and unadulterated groans with the confusing symphony of the snores that rang through the tent but moreover, it felt like a revelation, like a bucket of ice cold water splashed on him, like he could finally understand why Taeyeon was nothing more than an illusion no matter how he tries to push against it or why things never went the way he wanted to in the days he would call Hyeran his._ _

__He gazes at Chanyeol’s picture with newfound curiosity that night, the moonlight seeping through the tent helping him._ _

__

_October 1_

_If you were any normal citizen, and not the soldier you are right now, would you have done the same? Would you have killed someone off out of fear for your life? Because if I were in your shoes, I would have done so. Because if no one has judged you for it yet, then maybe you did the right thing. A person led astray is as dangerous as an infection. They move in stealth taking lives away before the people could even see the blade strike them. A small patch of weed would disturb the growth of freshly cut grass. And any gardener would know that to get rid of that patch would save that field of grass. You did the right thing as a soldier, Baekhyun. You saved the people. I just wish I could do the same._

__

__A knock is heard on Chanyeol’s door, distracting Chanyeol from his usual book readings. He issues a soft “come in”, watching the door open to reveal Jongdae on the other side of it, a tray of tea and lunch in his hands._ _

__Chanyeol is quiet as he watches Jongdae place the tray on his coffee table, bows, and hastily leaves the room but before he could even close the door behind him, Jongdae is stopped by a cry of his name on Chanyeol’s lips._ _

__“Jongdae...” Chanyeol breathes out, forcing Jongdae to look back at him with the pleading in Chanyeol’s voice. “Please, would you care to join me for tea?”_ _

__Jongdae doesn’t hesitate to obey, as he is a servant after all, and sits beside his master on the couch. Chanyeol slides his cup to tea towards Jongdae who takes it between both hands and drinks with big gulps. Silence is shared between them with Chanyeol observing Jongdae from beside him until he talks._ _

__“Did I do something wrong to offend you, Jongdae?” Chanyeol asks him. “I noticed you’ve been ignoring me for the past days.” Which was true because Jongdae haven’t spoken a word to him ever since that night he saw his master surrounded by those men nor looked at him in the eye, unless required of his duties or chores to the engineer. He closed himself off again, worrying Chanyeol but most of all, making him curious for the mere mention of the three men elicited a strong reaction from Jongdae that it piqued Chanyeol’s interest to know the reason why._ _

__“I’m sorry, sir.” Jongdae tells him. “You’ve done nothing wrong. It’s just—“_ _

__“Was it because of those men?”_ _

__“Sir—“_ _

__“Do you know them, Jongdae?”_ _

__“I...”_ _

__“Did you have any connection with them?” Jongdae gasps, nearly dropping the cup out of his hands. They were shaking uncontrollably Chanyeol had to take the cup himself and grip his hands into his own._ _

__“I’m sorry...” Chanyeol says, the guilt and regret in his eyes. “I was too bold on you. Forgive me.”_ _

__“No, no. It’s all right.” Jongdae assures him, voice quivering. “I suppose you have a right to know, what with me being your servant and all.”_ _

__“You are not obligated to.” Chanyeol tells him. “If it makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to tell me.”_ _

__“But maybe I want to.” Jongdae asserts, gripping back on Chanyeol’s hands. “Then maybe, the nightmares will go away.”_ _

__Chanyeol seeks any hesitance or fear in the other’s eyes but there are only conviction and unshed tears in them. Eventually, Chanyeol nods and with a shaky breath, Jongdae begins._ _

__“My parents were noble people. They believed in fighting for the greater good. In that sense, they were reckless in their own way but they would never do anything bad to an innocent person. But then, the war broke out and my parents decided they would leave me in the hands of my aunt while they rode off to battle. They thought by doing so, they would be able to save me.” Jongdae chuckles in sadness. “But they were wrong. When days passed into months and my parents still haven’t returned, my aunt thought to sell me instead. Food was becoming a privilege and the only way to get that was selling me to the whore house._ _

__“But no whore house wanted a boy for a prostitute. There wasn’t that much of a demand for them, the women would say, so my aunt was left with no choice but to sell me to slavery when a man stopped her.”_ _

__“Was it one of those men?” Chanyeol asks. Jongdae shakes his head._ _

__“He bought me, took me to the slums, and into a house only filled with men. I thought it was a male boarding house, just like this one. But that was what I thought. Until I turned 13 and they took me in a room to teach me how to perform a blowjob.”_ _

__Chanyeol gasps at the information while Jongdae only shoots him a small, sad smile. “Ever since then, my life was a living nightmare. I was used against my will, abused and bent to the authority of faceless men who made a big deal of how lucky I was that I had their attention. The women were far more forgiving, but that doesn’t make the situation less worse. I decided I had enough of it. I meant to run away when this one patron came in to announce he was buying me out.”_ _

__“Buy you out?” Chanyeol echoes._ _

__“Yes, he did. He gave me a new beginning, a chance to start over. He is the reason why I am who I am now, your servant boy.” Jongdae grins, a grin so far from the smile he recently showed Chanyeol. Chanyeol is dumbfounded, shocked even. The Japanese landlord whom he had been wary off since the beginning had bought this young boy from the whore house, only to save him and provide him with what he had to offer in his capacity. Chanyeol always thought the landlord was a menace, evil in him tamed long enough to strike at the best of opportunity. But maybe Chanyeol was wrong about them. Maybe some of them weren’t so bad, after all._ _

__He feels a slight pressure on his hands and finds that Jongdae’s are still wrapped within them. “Thank you for listening. I never really had people close I could confide to. It feels good, lighter, somehow to let that all out.”_ _

__“No, thank you.” Chanyeol corrects him. “I figure it must’ve taken a lot of guts for you to share that with me and I’m grateful that you did. You are welcome to confide whatever you are feeling with me. No one should suffer alone.”_ _

__Jongdae sniffles, a teardrop falling down his cheek. He nods as he smiles a grateful look at Chanyeol. “Thank you, sir.”_ _

__“Please, Jongdae.” Chanyeol smiles back. “You may call me ‘hyung’.” Jongdae grins and stands up, bowing and making a leave of Chanyeol’s room._ _

__“Thank you... hyung.”_ _

__“You’re welcome.” Jongdae leaves but not before his eyes land on a picture set on the table, a picture of a smiling beautiful boy, the kind of beautiful the patrons back in the whore house would always request for. Jongdae doesn’t know what to make of it so he silently takes his leave instead._ _

__

__The very next morning, Baekhyun, Sehun and a few others board the military jeep all the way to the east side of the mountain where the lone vault of the area is said to be located. Only the vault’s metal doors are erected on ground with a set of stairs leading down to it a few hundred meters below the ground. It’s spacious, Baekhyun thinks, as they take a tour of the rooms the vault had to offer. But it was in its own way, suffocating and depressing with the ceilings being too low and everything looking too brown. It was specifically designed to house 200 people with extra space for a few more but that’s about it._ _

__They converge back up with the commanders who ask them about their opinions._ _

__“Ah, Mr Byun.” One of them says. “So, what do you think of the vaults?”_ _

__“It’s well... liveable, sir.”_ _

__“I supposed that’s good enough to know.” The commander replies. “We want to make the vaults as comfortable for the vault citizens as possible. After all, we may never know how long they’ll be down there.”_ _

__Baekhyun only purses his lips._ _

__“I seem to recall... Mr Kim Junmyeon is your guardian, isn’t he?”_ _

__“Yes, sir.”_ _

__“Well, he’s a lucky fellow.” The commander tells him, grinning. “He’s secured himself a slot in this very vault.” Baekhyun eyes widen as he stutters to ask._ _

__“R-really?”_ _

__“Of course. He is a veteran soldier. He worked and sacrificed a lot for this country which automatically earns him passage into the vault. We do prioritize our veteran soldiers and knowing Mr Kim’s outstanding records in the military, we had no difficulty getting him through the selection process.”_ _

__“Thank you, sir. That would mean a lot to hyung.”_ _

__The commander pats him on the back. “I expect you to fulfil your duty well when the time comes, you hear me?”_ _

__“Yes, sir.”_ _

__

__“So, the vaults are done.” Kyungsoo tells him, setting a plate of food on the table. Baekhyun thanks him for the food before indulging in Kyungsoo’s meal, grateful for the rich taste that floods his mouth, a far cry from the bland rations Baekhyun and the rest of the soldiers had to eat every day._ _

__“That only means one thing.” Baekhyun quips._ _

__“The war is entering its climax.” Kyungsoo supplies, to which Baekhyun nods at._ _

__“They must have already started with their selection process.” Baekhyun says. “’Cause Junmyeon hyung’s already been processed. He’s going in.”_ _

__“Really?” Baekhyun sees the light in Kyungsoo’s eyes brighten. Baekhyun nods while munching. Kyungsoo lets out a victory cry when the door to the kitchen suddenly swings open with Sehun barging inside._ _

__“Where’s the food?” Baekhyun rolls his eyes before gesturing to Kyungsoo._ _

__“Sehun, this is Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo, this is Sehun.” Sehun bounds up to Kyungsoo with a salute before shaking his hand vigorously._ _

__“I heard so much about you.” Sehun tells him with Baekhyun muttering, “all you wanted to learn from him are the recipes he makes.” from the side. “It’s nice to finally meet you!”_ _

__Kyungsoo laughs, feeling his right arm numb from the excessive shaking. “It’s good to meet you, too. Do you want a serving? You can have part of Baekhyun’s share. I’m afraid there’s not much left, though.”_ _

__“That’s no problem at all!” Sehun tells him, ignoring Baekhyun’s whines and complaints in his ear._ _

__

__“Well?” Minseok grunts. “Is it finished?” He asks, looking over Chanyeol’s shoulder to see the engineer perform complicated procedures on their project._ _

__“Not entirely yet.”_ _

__“So when’s it going to be complete?” Jongin asks. “How long does it take to come up with a nuclear bomb anyway?”_ _

__Chanyeol sighs. “Well, maybe if you gave me a few extra hands to help me then it wouldn’t take this long.”_ _

__“Not possible.” Minseok says. “There’s no more engineers left except you.”_ _

__“What do you mean?”_ _

__“What I mean is that the rest of the team has been compromised. They all ran away like you did, refusing to take up the government’s offer but no matter how much we persuaded them even if it meant bringing their family into the situation, they just won’t do it.”_ _

__“So, they killed them!” Jongin cackles. “One by one, from the engineer to their children, each with one bullet in the middle of their forehead.”_ _

__“Only you accepted the offer.” Minseok tells him. “We honestly thought you’d end up like the rest of them lot, figured it was going to take much more persuading to get you back into the team. Jongin was ready to beat you into accepting but I reasoned that wouldn’t be enough.”_ _

__“Which sucked.” Jongdae supplies, lounging on a chair like a cat._ _

__“So, we did some research on you.” Minseok says, eyes glinting predatorily. “And what we found sure did surprise us.”_ _

__Jongin chuckles. “Oh hell yeah, it did. It was the perfect blackmail material.” Chanyeol pales at that, remembering their meeting together in the past months._ _

__“Everyone knows prostitution didn’t exist until the Japanese came. Suddenly, whore houses have popped out from everywhere. We always thought they were there to service the lonely Japanese soldiers but guess what we found out?” Minseok grins at Chanyeol teasingly with Jongin obnoxiously snickering in the background._ _

__“So, you like the pretty boys huh?” Minseok asks him. Chanyeol widens his eyes, returning to his work and choosing to ignore Minseok’s question._ _

__“I suppose I understand why they tempt you so much.” Minseok muses. “I’ve been to one, you know. The kind of whore house that turned down the men and welcomed the younger boys instead.”_ _

__“What the fuck were you doing in a whore house in the first place?” Jongin demands, eyebrows furrowing._ _

__“One of the big shots had a penchant for them, too.” Minseok replies. “Unfortunately, I couldn’t tell you who it was or they’d both have our heads if they find out. But there they were, all lined up dressed in the thinnest robes you could almost see what’s underneath then. Those poor boys were shaking so bad from the cold or fear? I don’t know but one thing’s for sure, though. They were ravaged that night, whimpers and cries echoing all throughout the slum they call a whore house. It was quite the experience, I might say.”_ _

__“I bet you jerked off to them.” Jongin snorts._ _

__“As erotic as they may have sounded that night, no, I didn’t, Jongin.” Minseok informs him. “It just isn’t what I’m into, you know?”_ _

__“But Chanyeol hyung does. I bet he fantasizes about that servant boy of his. Jongdae, right?” Then, they both giggle, laughs teasing and sinister with the way they looked at Chanyeol who was so pale, his tools were slipping out of his hands from how sweaty they were. Images flashed through his mind, so vivid Chanyeol could almost feel it happening before him. The erotic sounds that once filled Chanyeol’s ears play in repeat, wrecked and blissful faces of young boys fluttering behind his eyelids like a picture album being flipped in rapid succession. The teasing lilt in Jongin and Minseok’s laughs only make it worse for the sounds and images Chanyeol’s desperately tried to leave behind come coming through quicker with each passing second Chanyeol’s chest constricts. Then appears a new face, unfamiliar at first but Chanyeol soon realizes belongs to Baekhyun because no other boy carries that beauty of a smile nor any other boy Chanyeol’s met hold the prettiest of eyes only Baekhyun has._ _

__His hands slam the table, rattling the contents on it as he takes a shaky grip of its edges. Jongin and Minseok watch guarded but at the same time, amused at the way the engineer’s body shook with emotion. Before they could even pull out their guns, however, Chanyeol was out the door._ _

__

_November 27_

_Baekhyun, let’s get out of here. Let’s run away together. Please._

__

__Baekhyun and Kyungsoo have returned to Junmyeon’s house, their holiday break meant to be spent well under Junmyeon’s careful care. The minute Baekhyun steps into the house and sees Junmyeon waiting for them, he runs up to him to give him a hug, a hug so tight Junmyeon groans in pain but laughs when Baekhyun lets him go and apologizes profusely._ _

__“Hyung, did you hear?” Baekhyun asks him. “You’ve been selected to live in the vault!”_ _

__Junmyeon stops eating, his chopsticks suspended in the air. He glances at Kyungsoo who only smiles at him in congratulation. “I was?”_ _

__“Yes, hyung.” Kyungsoo says. “Apparently, they’ve been prioritizing military veterans for slots in the vaults nationwide. They said you deserved it.”_ _

__“Congratulations, hyung.” Baekhyun greets him._ _

__“Thank you, boys but... I’d rather stay up here.”_ _

__“What?” Baekhyun and Kyungsoo ask._ _

__“You don’t want to live in the vault?” Kyungsoo furthers. Junmyeon shakes his head._ _

__“But why?” Baekhyun cries._ _

__“I don’t want to live the rest of my life in hiding, Baekhyun.” Junmyeon tells him. “I’d like to stay here and fight as long as I can.”_ _

__“But you already can’t!” Baekhyun argues. “You’re missing a leg, how are you going to defend yourself against the enemy?”_ _

__Junmyeon smiles comfortingly. “I’m a soldier. I know how to defend myself.”_ _

__“That’s bullshit, hyung!” Baekhyun screams, standing up, the chair screeching behind him. Kyungsoo watches mouth agape as Junmyeon purses his lips._ _

__“You’re not a soldier anymore! You’re a cripple, you wouldn’t be able to hop out of the house without your walking cane, and you were named a vault resident simply because of the fact you once were a soldier! Not a lot of people could call themselves a vault resident this early and here you are, throwing that chance away!”_ _

__“Baekhyun—“_ _

__“A lot of people have probably accepted they’d die in war because they have no chance at getting in but you?” Baekhyun chokes, his tears blurring his vision. “You would disrespect them by refusing to enter the vault just because you can’t let go of your pride for one second?!”_ _

__“Baekhyun, just listen to what I have to say—“_ _

__“No, hyung.” Baekhyun glares, voice cold and void of colour. It was bleak, dark, and most of all, angry, frustrated and disappointed. “I’m not listening to your words ever again.”_ _

__“Baekhyun!” Junmyeon cries out, Kyungsoo’s own voice shrieking for Baekhyun but their cries are unheard because Baekhyun was already too far away out the door._ _

__

___December 17_ _ _

___Let’s meet here in front of the station. On Christmas Day. When the last train for the year leaves out of here._ _ _

__

__Chanyeol’s breaths are ragged as he dumps contents into his bag, not caring whether they’d spill or break in it eventually. All he wants is to get away far from here, far where they’d never find him again. He was so engrossed in packing up, he doesn’t hear the door creak open nor see Jongdae by the doorway, watching in alarm._ _

__“Sir?” Jongdae calls out to him, but Chanyeol doesn’t budge choosing to move around the room with hurried steps, packing everything he could._ _

__Jongdae tries again but either Chanyeol was ignoring him or too absorbed in a daze that he shuts everything off._ _

__“Chanyeol hyung!” Jongdae shrieks successfully as Chanyeol looks up from what he’s been doing, hair wild and eyes untamed in frenzy. Jongdae rushes to his side, helping him arrange his belongings so they could fit in their bags._ _

__“Why are you packing? Are you leaving? Where are you going?!”_ _

__“Leave with me, Jongdae.” Chanyeol begs him, gripping on Jongdae’s shoulders. “I’m going far away from this place somewhere safe and where the bombs will never reach me.”_ _

__“Bombs?” Jongdae repeats, eyes quivering. “What bombs?”_ _

__Chanyeol purses his lips, letting go of his grip on Jongdae and turns away from him, resuming packing and ignoring the questions that continuously pour out of Jongdae’s mouth._ _

__“It’s dangerous here, Jongdae.” Chanyeol tells him eventually. “Come with me and I’ll keep you safe.”_ _

__“Says the guy who cries bomb!” Jongdae looks at the other, trying to find the old Chanyeol he knows, the one who would never hesitate to throw him a coin or two at the most random of times, take him out to the market and let him indulge in peace, the Chanyeol who was kind and gentle with him, the type of man Jongdae’s rarely seen walk into his room back at the whore house._ _

__That Chanyeol was gone. A mere mask falling at the strings to reveal the true nature of the man behind it. He should’ve realised it the moment he noticed the man always leaving so early in the morning only to come home beaten to the bone at the near crack of dawn. He should’ve realised when the man would sporadically disappear at times, should’ve realised it when he saw him with those prostitutes and Jongdae felt disappointed not in Chanyeol, but in himself because as much as Jongdae would like to think he’s gotten a lot more smarter in choosing the people in his life, he finds he is still the ignorant child he once was and will always use to be._ _

__“I’m staying.” Jongdae tells him. “For good. You can’t force me to leave my home. If you want to leave, then leave. Just don’t make it look like you’re trying to do someone a favour.”_ _

__“Jongdae—“ Chanyeol breathes._ _

__“Goodbye, sir.” Jongdae says, bowing before his master for the last time. “It was an honour to serve you.”_ _

__

__“You can’t leave, hyung!’ Sehun cries. “The supers will kill you! Or worse!”_ _

__“Worse what?” Baekhyun eyes him but Sehun hesitates._ _

__“Y-you’d get kicked out of the military!” Sehun tries to reason out but Baekhyun only scoffs at Sehun’s attempt at an answer._ _

__“Maybe that’s what I want them to do.”_ _

__“Hyung, you can’t leave.” Sehun repeats, crawling up to Baekhyun on his knees. “It’s not safe out there!”_ _

__“And it’s safe here?”_ _

__“No, but you’re better off with people you can count on to help you when the time comes!”_ _

__“I don’t know, Sehun.” Baekhyun sighs. He isn’t surprised his bag felt so light when carried. He left most of his things at Junmyeon’s house and maybe, it was for the best. They were all dead weight, anyway. They’d only slow him down, pull him down on the ground until he’s forced to drag himself through the mud. Baekhyun likes to think he isn’t bitterly referring to Junmyeon but he couldn’t help it, he guesses. “Maybe it’s better I go on my own.”_ _

__“On your own?” Sehun shrieks. “You’re not going to survive out there all alone!”_ _

__“I won’t be.” Baekhyun tells him, a gentle smile on his face as he attempts to calm the other down. “All you have to do is trust me.”_ _

__“Who are you going with?” Sehun asks. “At least let me know who you’re going with!” But Baekhyun slings his bag across his shoulders and with one last and final salute to the boy standing agape before him, his silhouette moulds with the shadows, gone in the rainy night._ _

__

__Chanyeol watches as the world stumbles on its axis. The trees are uprooted as they hang in the air, the roof of the boarding house come crashing down. But the pain in his back is what startles him and the next, a heavy weight on his head, crushing his skull into the muddy ground below him. “What—“_ _

__“And just where do you think you’re running off to?” He hears a man sneer above him, the voice gentle but leering, one Chanyeol could decipher as Minseok’s. Then, he feels hands grab on his shirt to pull him upright with force, a hiss in his ear. Jongin was there too, keeping him from falling back on the ground. Mud cakes at his face, obstructing his vision but he still sees the swoop of Minseok’s fist as it collides with his stomach._ _

__“You haven’t finished the deal yet, remember?” Minseok reminds him, fist swooping back down again to land on Chanyeol’s face. The taste of metal fills his mouth as he spits out a mouthful of blood. “Come on and maybe I’ll let you go when you’ve finished what you started.”_ _

__“Don’t get your hopes up though.” Jongin whispers in his ear. “A maybe always means nothing to hyung.”_ _

__Chanyeol only lets out incoherent words in between his groans as the two hoist him up, supporting him on each of his side. Chanyeol forces himself to turn around as much as he can, determined to call out for help but Jongdae only stands there at the doorway as he usually does, watching him be taken away before shutting the door._ _

__

__“No, you can’t lock me up in here!” Chanyeol protests as Minseok and Jongin push him into his laboratory. Chanyeol nearly knocks one of his projects off the table, making Minseok squawk in panic. Chanyeol is quick to steady the heavy object, knowing just how much damage the harmless-looking thing could bring once it detonates. Minseok sneers as he pulls Chanyeol back on his feet and towards the storage room at the very back of Chanyeol’s lab with surprising strength for a man his height and stature. Chanyeol fights against Minseok’s grip, bent on using his long limbs to get him out of the situation but before he could even knock Minseok unconscious with an elbow, Jongin beats him to it by helping the other pull the engineer into the storage room where Minseok brandishes a rope from nowhere and uses it to tie Chanyeol’s hands together._ _

__“No, you can’t do this!”_ _

__“Then maybe you shouldn’t have tried running away.” Jongin spits at him, pushing Chanyeol onto his back._ _

__“We’ll come back and untie you once you’ve calmed down.” Minseok promises him. “But if you ever try to run again, you’ll be the very first guy I’ll bomb out of this world. You hear me?”_ _

__Chanyeol only whimpers Baekhyun’s name on his lips and even if Minseok or Jongin heard it, they don’t show it for the room goes dark with the shut of a door and only Baekhyun’s name echoes hauntingly throughout the darkness._ _

__

__Baekhyun waits, sitting on the steps of the train station. No one is out at this hour, the trees too frightening under the moonlight and the rain stinging on his arms when they land. His raincoat is soaked, Baekhyun’s shirt soggy and heavy against his chest. His body shivers from the wind that came along with the thunderstorm but he was determined to make it out of the place. The station’s lights are off except for one, indicating the arrival of the last train for the year._ _

__He hears something snap not far away from him and his eyes dart to where he thinks it came from, hoping it was Chanyeol than some wild animal or some lunatic barging out of the bushes to strike at him. But nothing comes after that single snap except for a man, body entirely drenched in the rain, long hair matted and covering most of his face. Baekhyun stands, backing away from the man who only takes a step forward with every step Baekhyun took back._ _

__Then, he pushes his hair aside and Baekhyun gasps, brought back to his very first day on this mountain, the shrieking of a man being dragged away by soldiers still echoing in his ears like the instance never happened some time ago._ _

__“You...” Baekhyun breathes out. He reaches out to him but the man scampers away, taking Baekhyun by surprise, and into the station, a trail of water indicating the path he took. Baekhyun runs after him only to be mildly shocked when the man leads him to the end of the platforms, a small crevice in the wall where the man amidst the booming rain, looked so comfortable lying down on mere cardboard Baekhyun feels the slightest of envy. The man pays him no mind, only squeezing himself in the little space that little crevice could offer, turning to lay on his side before he falls asleep._ _

__Baaekhyun slumps against the wall beside him watching and, for what Baekhyun feels is a very long time, a genuine smile lights up his face._ _

__

__The rain finally subsides an hour later but there is no sight of the man Baekhyun was supposed to meet. The train was arriving in a few hours but it didn’t feel right for him to board the train without the other. Chanyeol understood his struggle, never judged him for his actions or for what he feels. He wanted someone like him by his side, someone who will see the world like him and with him together so that, maybe, they could change it for the better._ _

__But Baekhyun was growing more and more concerned by the minute when thunder once again rang in the distance, a definite sign of another downpour. Baekhyun wonders if he should go looking for the other but realizes he doesn’t even know where to look in the first place. Neither he nor Chanyeol met in person before and neither of them shared their locations, either. So Baekhyun is forced to do nothing but wait._ _

__“How long?”_ _

__Baekhyun is startled from his thoughts when the man speaks. Baekhyun watches him get up and lean against the wall, watching Baekhyun from where he sat on his cardboard mat, a dimpled smile on his face._ _

__“I’m sorry, what?”_ _

__“How long are you going to wait for your friend?” The man asks. “It’s going to rain again soon and the roads leading to here would be too muddy for someone to walk through it.”_ _

__“He’ll be here soon, I know it.” Baekhyun tells him._ _

__The man only nods in reply, humming a melody Baekhyun doesn’t recognize. But then, Baekhyun doesn’t recognize the clothes the man was wearing either. They were not the most pleasant shade of brown partnered with red cloth on the man’s chest, arms and shoulders where the cloths seem to have been either ripped off or have worn in time. But Baekhyun had been in the military long enough for him to eventually spot the colour of the enemy._ _

__Baekhyun gasps and slides away from the man in fear and panic, the man looking at him with concern in his eyes. But Baekhyun only stares with wide pale eyes, those same pair of eyes zeroing in on the man’s uniform. The man’s eyes soften as he shakes his head._ _

__“Please, don’t be afraid.” The man tells Baekhyun in the gentlest and most reassuring way possible. “I’m no longer that person. I’ve defected.”_ _

__“Defected?” Baekhyun echoes to which the man nods._ _

__“I ran away, figured the life of a soldier wasn’t meant for me. I ran from the north for far south as south could take me, if it meant I would never have anything to do with this war anymore.”_ _

__“B-b-but you’re Chinese!” Baekhyun gasps. “You’re not safe here.” The man only smiles._ _

__“I know I wouldn’t be safe far from home but the soldiers here could only tolerate a helpless man like me. I have nothing of use for them, you know. Just my body for a punching bag._ _

__“You are a soldier too, aren’t you not?” The Chinese man asks Baekhyun. Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows, the Korean language a bit too stiff and different when coming out of the man’s lips but Baekhyun nods as he decides the man was no threat, not when the man’s mere smile brought him a warmth and comfort he’s haven’t had felt in a long time. “I haven’t met a soldier who doesn’t punch me in the face the first time we meet.” The Chinese chuckles. “I’m Yixing.”_ _

__

__Chanyeol jolts awake when the sound of metal crash right next to his ear. The tray carried what Chanyeol could distinguish as a poor attempt at food but he doesn’t make a move towards it. Not when he’s tied up in the arms, his body aches with pain, and his jaw throbs with the slight bitter taste of blood still in his mouth._ _

__“Eat up.” Jongin orders him before proceeding to leave him again but Chanyeol cries after him with a question._ _

__“Wait! How long was I out?”_ _

__Jongin looks back at him feigning a thoughtful look on his face. “Hmm... let’s see. Well, it’s been three days since you fainted and a week since we locked you up. Not that long, I suppose.”_ _

__Chanyeol breaks out in cold sweat, struggling at the ropes around his hands. All he could think about now is Baekhyun and where he is, whether he stayed to wait for him like he promised or whether he boarded the train without him. No matter what though, Chanyeol is determined to get out of there right before he gets the chance to see the bombs drop before his very eyes._ _

__“Please let me out of here.”_ _

__“Nope.” Jongin says, stressing on the word. “We need you to make more bombs, Engineer Park. Minseok doesn’t think two bombs are enough. And the government agrees.”_ _

__“I will never.” Chanyeol sneers, earning a chortle from Jongin._ _

__“But you did.” Jongin tells him. “We offered you a choice, Engineer Park. And you chose to do the wrong thing. Now, don’t go around acting like you’ve got the heart of a saint when you know it’s already all too late.”_ _

__Chanyeol whimpers at Jongin’s smirk because he was right but that doesn’t mean it would be the end for him._ _

__

__“Don’t you have a family to go back to, Baekhyun?” Yixing asks him. Baekhyun doesn’t answer right away, not when Sehun was looking at him from the distance, face unreadable but the clench of his jaw hinted at the younger’s feelings. Sehun hasn’t changed much in the few years that passed by, not even a sight of hair on the boy’s chin. The boy’s uniform looked crisp and new, testament to the changes that underwent in him if the way the other soldiers greeted Sehun as First Lieutenant was any indication. Baekhyun tears his eyes away from the younger, choosing to squeeze himself beside Yixing at their little space they’ve since been sharing in the wall, away from watchful, curious eyes._ _

__“No, I don’t think so.” Baekhyun replies._ _

__When Chanyeol did not show up that night, Baekhyun still chose not to board the train. He had another reason to stay, no matter how much he tried to deny it. Yixing refused to leave and Baekhyun refused to leave without the other. They were once soldiers who shared the same sentiments, Baekhyun felt the need to try save the other man while he tried saving himself. After all, they were victims of the war thrown at the very frontlines of battle. If there was anyone deserving for another chance at life, it was them who were brave enough to decide upon them even though the mere fact they ran away from their sworn duty would show otherwise._ _

__“Then, what’s keeping you from leaving?” Yixing asks. Baekhyun looks at him dumbfounded before slapping him lightly on the shoulder._ _

__“You, of course!”_ _

__And Yixing smiles, patting Baekhyun on the shoulder thankfully. “I appreciate your concern for me, Baekhyun, and I thank you for that. But we’re on the brink of a nuclear war, I heard, and things are not getting any better. There’s no one else you should be thinking of but your own wellbeing. You are a good man who tries to make a change far greater than a change in himself but no one else is capable of saving others but only themselves.”_ _

__

__Chanyeol picks up the metal tray, hitting the glass panel window with the strength he could muster but he is weak without decent food for weeks and no sunlight to further energize him. He still hits against the glass as strong as he could, only one thing in mind: survival._ _

__And when the sound of glass shattering floods his ears, he drops the tray now bent out of shape and with hands still tied, struggles to crawl out of the window. His long legs support him in doing so but shards of leftover glass pierce through Chanyeol’s stomach, tearing through the tissue, as he crawls further out though, he doesn’t care about the pain anymore._ _

__The sound of footsteps running nearer alert him, urging him to crawl himself out faster and when his feet touch the ground, he briefly stumbles before sprinting away just when he hears gunshots and the shouts of Minseok and Jongin behind him._ _

__

__It was raining the moment Chanyeol realized he was free. He went wherever his feet took him, the town looking nearly deserted and the marketplace empty of its usual customers. The train station is only meters away and Chanyeol wonders whether Baekhyun would still be waiting for him, whether the other would forgive him for being a few weeks late but brush it off and continue on with their plan to escape. But the whistling of the train alerts Chanyeol of its near departure and he rushes to the station, his heart nearly beating out of his chest when he sees most of the townspeople have already boarded. Chanyeol stumbles through the rain with great difficulty as the mud slowed his movements but his feet immediately meet the rough, stony path that led to the station platforms._ _

__“Wait!” He screams at the top of his lungs, thunder and lightning roaring as if refusing Chanyeol the chance to leave._ _

__“Wait!” The train whistles again and the conductor boards soon after, satisfied every passenger is accounted for._ _

__“Wait!” The crunching of the stones beneath Chanyeol’s feet is tantamount to that of the sound of lightning._ _

__“Don’t leave!” But the train begins to move._ _

__

__“Hurry now, Baekhyun.”Yixing urges him on. “Don’t look back. Just board the train when the others have and the train moves on its tracks. That way, they wouldn’t be able to stop you.” Baekhyun looks behind his shoulder where Yixing was looking, only to see Sehun watching him closely. His hands grip tightly on his rifle as if he were ready to use it against Baekhyun should he ever do something Sehun didn’t approve of._ _

__“But what about Chanyeol?” Yixing shakes his head._ _

__“Why would you care for someone who obviously only thinks about himself?” Yixing asks him, running a caressing hand over Baekhyun’s face. “Time does not favour everyone, Baekhyun. Now is your chance.”_ _

__Baekhyun hesitates because though he should’ve been angry at Chanyeol for standing him up on something Chanyeol first suggested, he finds that he isn’t. Yixing was right. Baekhyun should stop thinking about others and start thinking about himself. Baekhyun could only hope that Chanyeol found the peace he’s long been looking for. If only he could write to him like they used to._ _

__Soon enough, the train shudders as its engines roar back to life and Baekhyun finds himself pushed against the wall by Yixing as the people walked past them, hurriedly boarding the train. The threat of a nuclear war happening was immediate and people—having realized they were the unlucky ones denied citizenship in the vault—evacuated immediately. It didn’t take much effort for the people swarmed the station the very next day after news had broken out._ _

__When the last person steps onto the train and the train begins to leave the station, Yixing pushes him with a shout. Baekhyun runs after the train, the screams of Sehun ordering him to stop loud behind him. But he doesn’t heed to it, only runs faster for the train that was gaining speed and was almost out of the station. Then he hears stones crunching from the distance as if someone else were chasing after him and was getting closer, or it could be another victim of war desperate not to be left behind._ _

__The people watching aboard the train scream and reach out to pull Baekhyun in but they are still too far away. And when Baekhyun finally grips on an outstretched hand of a kind stranger, there is a sound carried by the wind that is different from Sehun’s angry cries or from Yixing’s cheerful, optimistic goodbyes._ _

__It was a cry of desperation, so faint but continuing in the wind. If Baekhyun were to listen more carefully, he would understand what the wind was trying to say. But his beating heart was far much louder and the feeling of finally being free overwhelmingly filled his whole body that all he does is break down on his knees and cry in happiness for the very first time._ _

__

__And Yixing was right. Time did not favour everyone. For Baekhyun was safe but Chanyeol wasn’t, left behind to own up to his decision that, in the years to come, would become the most destroying factor in the war Baekhyun was desperate to get away from._ _

__And that was the story that transpired across time, bending the impossible to possible and turning what-ifs to reality or actual encounters to simply happenstance, for there became two people living in entirely different times, stuck to live through similar circumstances but as much as they tried, could never just meet, like parallel lines or inverted commas, always on opposite ends, never meeting._ _


End file.
